


Nothing is Anything (Without You)

by sentientstars



Series: MMM: TanaNoya Collection [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Beauty Rituals, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Dating, Domestic, Established Relationship, Foreplay, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Post-Canon, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 21:04:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6166816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentientstars/pseuds/sentientstars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt three: spending the night apart trying to bond with other people/engage in social activity without one another, but they just spend the whole time missing each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing is Anything (Without You)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ImWithEnjolras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImWithEnjolras/gifts), [killuazcldyck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuazcldyck/gifts).



> for the "March Madness Marathon" I'm challenging myself to write at least 1,000 words towards tananoya one-shots every day this month! most of the prompts featured in this collection will be "relationship milestones" of some kind. these are all entirely un-beta'd and more or less unedited so please excuse minor mistakes/errors.
> 
> This piece is rated "mature" for use of bad language, a handful of blunt-but-not-really-explicit allusions to sex/genitalia, some kissing, and a teensy bit of foreplay. Both Tanaka and Nishinoya are written to be of age, involved a consensual, established relationship, post-canon.
> 
> There are a few brief mentions of violent threats, but they are not legitimate threats, the characters understand that they are not legitimate threats, and no one is actually harmed in the content of this piece. One reference is made to an act of physical violence that appears in a film, but it is not described in detail.
> 
> I write Nishinoya, Ryuu, and Saeko as bisexual. In the context of this piece, although it is not explicitly mentioned, Nishinoya and Ryuu are in a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship, but they are comfortable with each other also having platonic, romantic, or sexual interest in other people. They are both lowkey interested in Asahi, and Asahi is interested in the two of them as well, but at this point absolutely none of them have done anything about it because they're all nervous babychildren and have no idea how to approach the subject. So, Ryuu and Asahi are lowkey Feeling It™ for each other in this fic, but they are all poly, so it is not cheating. Please do not read it as cheating. Thank you.
> 
> I apologize in advance that everyone's dialogue is so embarrassing and out-of-character. I can't write any of these characters except in gay nerd, dude-bro terms, so please forgive me.
> 
> There's also like three whole seconds of angst but it disappears with the wind, so it's fine. Enjoy.

          “Hey, Noya, I’m getting ready to head out-- you coming?” Tanaka asked, pausing at the doorway of their bedroom. The bathroom door immediately to his right opened up, revealing Nishinoya with a considerably alarmed expression, which Tanaka found confusing-- what was there to be alarmed about?

          “Ryuu, look at my roots, I can’t leave the house like this,” Nishinoya said, tugging the small tuft of blonde hair in the center of his head up to reveal the faintest dark line at the base. “I’m a degenerate, I’m _hideous_ \-- besides, big sis said she’s gonna do my hair tonight for free, so I’m gonna sit this one out,” he grinned, raising a hand up in an A-OK sign.

          “Noya,” Tanaka said incredulously, “You _do_ realize that your blonde streak is barely an inch wide,” he held up his thumb and forefinger at about that width to emphasize, “and of that inch, _maybe_ one whole centimeter of your roots are showing-- not to mention the _entire_ rest of your head is that color--” he started to laugh, “--what is the problem?”

          Nishinoya looked scandalized, “Ryuu!” he scoffed, seeming as if he was going to say one thing, but then changed his mind, “...you don’t have hair, you wouldn’t understand.”

          Tanaka squawked indignantly, gesturing to all of Nishinoya, “This! _This_ is why I don’t have hair! So I don’t do irrational shit like this!” he laughed, “Noya, _nobody_ has the time or energy to worry so much about a _one inch by one centimeter_ block of roots showing that they won’t even leave the damn house,” 

          “Except me,” Nishinoya huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyebrows were furrowed and his pout was incredible. Tanaka couldn’t help but be charmed.

          “Except you, I guess,” he sighed gently, relenting. He reached out a hand to ruffle Nishinoya’s hair, then pulled him forward by the back of his head. Nishinoya didn’t resist being pulled into a tight hug. He nuzzled into Tanaka’s chest and wrapped his arms around his lower back.

          “Oi, can we migrate the snuggle?” Saeko laughed gently at the sight of them, rounding the corner into the hall. “This road block ain’t cuttin’ it. Move it or lose it, love birds, I gotta piss.”

          Tanaka scrunched up his face, giving her an intense look that said _“why would you ever say that?”_ and mouthed “too much information”, gently stepping back into the bedroom doorway and pulling Nishinoya with him. Saeko stuck her tongue out as she passed by, disappearing behind the closed door.

          “Big siiis, your brother was being mean to meee,” Nishinoya suddenly whined, removing his face from Tanaka’s chest but not releasing his arms behind his back.

          “Ryuu, I’ll beat your ass!” she yelled from inside the bathroom; she laughed wildly, “What’d he do?”

          Tanaka was slightly incensed that she'd taken Nishinoya's side before she'd even been told what he'd done "wrong". 

          “He thinks I’m irrational for not wanting to go to the game tonight even though my roots are awful,” Nishinoya’s tone was absolutely pitiful.

          “Wait a damn minute, _‘your brother’_?!” Tanaka interrupted loudly, mockingly appalled at Nishinoya’s audacity, “as if I’m more _her brother_ to you than I am your damn boyfriend! _Rude_!” he was laughing, so Nishinoya laughed, too.

          “Ryuu!” Saeko yelled again, the door suddenly swinging open violently.

          “You don’t have hair, so you won’t understand, but that shit is _important_ ,” she started, pointing her finger accusingly at him.

          “That’s what I said!” Nishinoya shrilled, removing himself entirely from Tanaka to turn to Saeko, clenching his fists and admiring her.

          “Leaving your roots unchecked totally kills your aesthetic,” she continued, retreating back into the bathroom to wash her hands, but leaving the door open. “Unless you’re starting to go for that ombre look-- but if you’re not, it just--” she paused to find the right words, “it doesn’t really make you look _bad_ , you just look… frumpy. And frumpy is even worse than looking bad. It's like having the potential to look really hot, but you're wasting it.”

          Nishinoya nodded enthusiastically, turning his head back to look at Tanaka to see if he’d been convinced.

          “'Frumpy',” Tanaka repeatedly flatly; both his sister and his boyfriend nodded gravely.

          “Alright, man! Whatever you say. You guys keep doing you,” he closed his eyes and half-turned, waving his hand dismissively, but he was smiling. His expression quickly darkened back into mock-seriousness, though, and he glared at Nishinoya.

          “Damn, though, just _her brother_? That was cold!” Tanaka pretended to wince and draw his body up as if he were outside in the snow without a coat, “I’m out, man, can’t take that kind of disrespect,” he was shaking his head and waving them goodbye, walking down the hallway to go into the living room. They could hear him muttering “no respect…” under his breath the whole way. Nishinoya knew he was kidding, but took the bait anyway.

          “Ryuuuuuuu!” he wailed, running after his boyfriend into the living room. Tanaka turned around when he heard his name and Nishinoya collided with him, the side of his face smashed against Tanaka’s stomach and his arms quickly locked around his hips like a bear trap. Tanaka stumbled back a bit and Nishinoya dead weighted himself against his front, his legs sagging uselessly beneath him. He was much heavier than he looked.

          “Ryuu, I was just kidding! Don’t _gooo_ ,” Nishinoya cried, making an absolute show of himself. He laughed a bit at his own theatrics despite himself, pressing his face into Tanaka’s hip. Tanaka started trying for the foyer of the apartment, but dragging Nishinoya along proved more difficult than he’d expected. He limped a few times, then gave up, admiring Nishinoya’s tenacity. 

          “I legitimately have somewhere to be, though?!” Tanaka laughed, ruffling Nishinoya’s hair again. Nishinoya slowly extracted himself and stood up straight again, giving Tanaka a very serious look and pulling him close by the front of his shirt.

          “Okay!” Nishinoya said firmly, “but when you get home you can’t tell me how many points Shouyou scored from killer spikes, you just have to kiss me that many times and let me figure it out,”

          Tanaka wrinkled his nose and smiled hard in embarrassment and affection, "Damn, that’s gay."

          Nishinoya grinned and stood up on his tip-toes, making a small clicking sound with his lips and pursing them for a kiss. Tanaka bent the rest of the way down to complete it.

          “Take pictures with everyone, I haven’t seen them in a few months. Oh-- and tell Shouyou I’ll catch his next game, you know, I’ll be more prepared for it next time,” Nishinoya said, stepping back.

          “You see their selfies every single day online-- and you were texting Hinata not an hour ago! Why not tell him yourself?” 

          “ _Because_ ,” Nishinoya said, poking his finger into Tanaka’s chest, “it’ll show them that I care and, since we’re also a gruesome twosome, you have to represent me in my absence. If _I_ can’t be there to take selfies with my precious, grown-up baby-sons, _you_ have to, because you’re my ambassador-- also because I like seeing your face, and seeing _your_ face and my kids’ faces together does my heart so good,” Nishinoya placed his hand over his heart and closed his eyes.

          “ _‘Baby sons’_?” Tanaka asked wryly, “you’re only _eight months_ older than Hinata.”

          Nishinoya steamrolled forward, paying no mind to the comment, “Just tell them, ‘It was your adoring, amazing Noya-senpai’s last request that I take selfies with you guys and bring them back to him. I have to post them online in his loving memory and subtitle every photo with, _in honor of Nishinoya Yuu, who could not be here tonight to take these himself_. Everyone will be like, _“Damn, Noya-senpai is so thoughtful! He really wanted to see us! I totally wish he could have been here! Tanaka-senpai, you’re such a kind, loving boyfriend, carrying out his final wishes!”_ It’ll be beautiful. Everyone will be so inspired and in awe of what a great boyfriend you are because you do all of the weird, unnecessary shit I ask you to do when I can’t do the weird, unnecessary shit myself,” Nishinoya smiled and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. 

          “If I tell them you didn’t come because you were having a meltdown about your bangs and refused to just like, _wear a hat_ or something, they probably won’t find it so inspiring--” Tanaka started laughing when Nishinoya’s mouth dropped open in horror; Nishinoya bent to swiftly chop Tanaka in the side with his forearm. Tanaka doubled over and his whole body shook with laughter as he fought to grab Nishinoya’s hands and prevent him from jabbing him in the sides.

          “Alright, alright, _Noya-senpai_! I will inherit your feelings and go out bravely in search of selfies. I will not rest until your dream is realized,” Nishinoya stopped fighting and stood up again, squeezing Tanaka’s hands while their fingers were still laced together. Tanaka pulled his arms back and folded his hands as if in prayer, closing his eyes, “May the gods guide me on my journey.”  
  
\- - -  
  
          Tanaka had briefly kissed Nishinoya goodbye and waved to his sister before slipping on his shoes and making his way towards the train station on foot. Fortunately, it was only a few blocks from their apartment. He arrived at the platform about fifteen minutes early and spent the wait playing a mind-numbing point-and-shoot pixel game on his phone. The train pulled in on time and he entered, reserving a place just inside the door. 

          It was crowded as it was early evening on a Friday night and most people had places to go. He turned the volume off on his phone, but continued playing the game one handed while the other clung tightly to a swinging handle above his head. The low rumble of the tracks running below his feet, the bright, clear voices which tried to be heard on the phone rising above the sea of whispers which muttered below, the shuffling of newspapers, and the distant din of music leaking from the headphones of high-schoolers was comforting. He was really looking forward to the volleyball match and he knew everyone around him was looking forward to getting wherever they were headed, too. He lost his final life in the game and frowned, closing the app and slipping his phone into his pocket. 

          He looked up, sighing softly, and glanced out the small window by the door closest to where he was standing. The shadowed landscape blurred past and the sharp crackle of a voice broke over the train’s intercom, informing the passengers of the next stop, which was his. He smiled to himself; he hadn’t seen Asahi in a while and wondered if he’d changed his hairstyle yet. Asahi wasn’t much for change most of the time, he knew, and after growing his hair out for so long he had probably grown attached to it and was now doubly afraid of changing it in any way, but the idea of Asahi growing out his hair indefinitely was too funny to imagine, too. An image popped into his head of Asahi with a wiry, full beard grown halfway down his stomach and wavy tresses that skirted along his lower back. Tanaka lurched forward and covered his mouth, his abdomen clenching painfully as he fought down the laugh that had jumped into his throat. He hoped like hell that Asahi hadn’t let himself go that far; he’d look like some kind of troll creature from a fantasy game. Tanaka’s chest strained as he giggled and snickered into his hand, his ears burning as he knew he was probably beginning to garner some strange looks. He managed to calm down after a minute and rubbed his hand over his face, sighing happily and looking down to his right side. 

          A sudden pain spread over him and his shoulders sagged. He realized instantly that he had wanted to tell Nishinoya about the thought that had passed and had looked over to where he might be to do so, but Nishinoya was not there. He swallowed, feeling tightness in his chest. It wasn’t as if he went everywhere with Nishinoya all the time, so him not being there wasn’t unusual, but he’d expected to get a bit further into the night before his heart started to ache from his absence.

          Tanaka had been one of the first to get off the train, but several other people scurried past him across the platform like a colony of ants which had finally reached the surface. Asahi had been waiting for him, standing next to a bench so he’d be easier to locate in the crowd. Asahi had been making a very intense expression, trying to spot him in the sudden flood, Tanaka supposed, but his eyes immediately softened when they made contact. Tanaka smiled and waved, jogging up to him. Asahi modestly waved back, keeping his hand down at shoulder level to not draw too much attention to himself. Tanaka slapped him a few times on the arm and took his hand strongly into his own. 

          “Asahi-san! Good to see you,” he started, grinning widely.

          “You too, you too. It’s been a while,” Asahi said. His face was a little flushed and he smiled so hard Tanaka thought he almost looked _too_ happy to see him. His chest swelled up with pride.

          Asahi did look different from the last time Tanaka had seen him, actually, and Tanaka was now taking in the new details. He had bangs, first of all; his hair was parted over from one side and the shortest tips touched at the corner of his left eye and angled down his cheek diagonally to his chin. The rest of his hair fell in loose waves around his face, extending now down past his collar bone-- a little longer than last time. His facial hair had filled in considerably around the full length of his jaw, but it was short and clean and made him look really mature.

          “Too long!” Tanaka said, a little dazed, “Damn, Asahi-san,” he laughed, shaking his head a little, “I said ‘it’s good to see you’, but you look amazing, so it’s like, _really good_ to see you. My eyes are singing.”

          Asahi’s eyebrows shot up and he quickly covered his mouth, his face starting to burn immediately.

          “Bangs look great on you,” Tanaka continued enthusiastically, not giving Asahi a chance to refuse his compliment, “and your beard is fuller. Your jaw line is _killing it_ ,” he said emphatically. Asahi looked like he might scream. He squeezed his eyes shut a moment and took his hand away from his face.

          “Thank you, Tanaka,” he said weakly. He chewed his lip hard but was making every effort to maintain eye contact. Tanaka was proud; Asahi had gained a little more resolve since they’d last met up. He felt a little bad because he knew Asahi was easily embarrassed, but he couldn’t help it. He called it like he saw it, and he saw that it looked _really damn good_.

          "You look really good, too," Asahi said quietly; he blinked slowly like he was choosing his words very carefully, "You look almost the same as you did when I last saw you, maybe a little older, more mature, but sameness is good for you, because... you've always been really handsome. No need to fix it if it's not broken, you know?"

          Tanaka smiled so intensely Asahi felt like he might go blind. He seemed to be thinking and Tanaka didn't want to interrupt, so he left the silence alone for a moment. Then, Asahi opened his mouth just a little and quickly shut it again, but it was too late-- Tanaka had noticed and knew he had something to say, which meant that he wasn’t going to leave Asahi alone until he spit it out. Surprisingly, though, he didn't end up having to fight Asahi for it at all.

          “What is it?” Tanaka asked, still grinning. Asahi furrowed his eyebrows and chewed his lip again. He looked like he was itching to tell a secret, but couldn’t decide if it would be worth it or not. He sighed and blinked away eye contact, turning to look Anywhere Else, but seemed to make a decision. He slightly tipped his head to the left and brought up his hand to reach around and pull all of his hair over to one side. He twisted it all up into his hand and held it up to the crown of his head, turning away so the back of his head would be exposed to Tanaka’s view. Tanaka's eyes swelled up dangerously; at mid-ear's height, everything below it to the base of Asahi's neck was cut completely clean and close to his head.

          “Holy shit,” Tanaka whispered, followed by an incredible shout, “Asahi-san! An _undercut_! You fucking rebel!”

          Asahi whipped back around and smashed his hand over Tanaka’s mouth faster than Tanaka had ever seen him move as long as they’d known each other. Tanaka’s eyes were wide and he talked animatedly into Asahi’s hand, but it was unintelligible. He wrapped his hands around Asahi’s wrist and pleaded with his eyes, but Asahi wouldn’t relent. Asahi was biting his lip so hard Tanaka thought it might bleed, but it was obvious he was fighting a very real smile; his whole face was red and his hair fell slightly mussed into his face, and it wasn’t a bad look, honestly, not a bad look at all. 

          After several moments Tanaka finally shut up and nodded obediently, signifying that he would be quiet. When Asahi released him, Tanaka opened his mouth wide as if he might start shouting again and Asahi panicked, his hand immediately flying back towards Tanaka’s face. Tanaka laughed hard, catching Asahi’s hand in his own just before it collided with his mouth and gently pushed it away.

          “Kidding, kidding!” he laughed. Asahi curled over himself and whined softly.

          “When did you do that!” Tanaka asked shrilly, his voice still a little too loud. Asahi straightened back up and tucked his hair behind his ear on one side, shuffling his feet nervously. He nodded his head towards the opposite side of the platform, indicating they should start walking so they could make it to their next train, which was due to arrive in a few minutes.

          “Last month,” Asahi said quietly at last, now completely unable to make eye contact with Tanaka. He'd lasted quite a while and Tanaka wasn't disappointed. Asahi scrubbed the side of his hand against his cheek as if it would wipe the redness and heat away, but it persisted. He sighed gently. “I don’t know _why_ , if you’re wondering-- it wasn’t even my idea. My hairdresser has been trying to get me to do something different for the past five years, but it’s the one thing I’ve always been able to say “no” to,"

          “I always had a good idea about how I wanted to look and once I got it, I didn’t want to change it. I got busy, though, working, and my hair got longer and my beard filled in and I didn’t really notice. I finally got a day off and went in for routine, and as soon as I sat down she started crooning about how handsome I looked and what a beautiful man I was growing up to be and all these wonderful and exciting things I could do with my appearance,” Asahi paused a moment, clearly mortified at having to recall the details, but he continued, “Like always, she asked me if I wanted to change anything, and like always, I said no, but when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I was kind of tired of seeing myself,"

          “I didn’t see my ideal appearance looking back at me anymore, and I guessed that meant I needed to change it after all, but I didn’t have any kind of good ideas about what to change it to,” he paused a moment, furrowing his eyebrows and rolling his lower lip under his teeth, “I’d been doing the same thing for so long it was hard to imagine anything else. I guess she already had her mind made up about what she wanted to do, though, so I guess I just, let her take over. She was thrilled, honestly, it was pretty endearing to see her so excited… but for me, it was more terrifying than it was exciting, but I’d consented to it, so I tried not to get too worked up about it. After it was over, I was anxious about it for days, I mean-- I thanked her and told her I loved it and I thought she was going to kiss me she was so excited; she did hug me, actually-- but when I got home, it was just, too much at once. I went back and forth from loving it to hating it, I cried about it a few times, actually--” he laughed gently, “I decided it was better if I didn’t tell anyone about it until I was prepared to take criticism for it, but for a while I wasn’t even able to deal with it myself, so it became a secret; if I didn’t wear my hair up, no one would ever know the difference."

          “Having a secret has somehow made me feel even more “wild” than before, though, so in the end it’s actually been kind of nice,” Asahi smiled affectionately, “the few people that I have showed it to have all reacted about the same. Everyone’s been really supportive, and it makes me feel pretty cool.”

          The conversation broke momentarily when their train pulled in; they filed into the aisle, taking hold of the bar on their left side and moving slightly one way or the other for a bit to let more people get by. After a few minutes everyone was settled in and the doors closed. The train softly tugged forward and they began their journey to where the game was being held.

          “Oh, oh! Sorry for talking so much, I didn’t mean to get into all the gory details,” Asahi said suddenly, ducking his head and staying in a half bow for several moments.

          “Asahi-san! Are you kidding? You _are_ so cool,” Tanaka firmly grabbed his upper arm and looked at him very intensely when he stood up straight again, “I’m really proud of you.”

          “P-proud?” Asahi asked in alarm, moving his hand over his mouth again, habitually trying to cover his embarrassment. 

          “Yeah! I mean, I know you don’t change a lot, and some people might think that’s boring, but it makes you really consistent, you know? Reliable. People can depend on you because they know what to expect; and you’re not wrong about taking risks, making changes-- it can be really terrifying, especially if things turn out badly in the end and you don’t like it and you can’t change it back. That shit really sucks, actually, so being afraid of it makes complete sense.”

          Asahi was nodding gently, so he continued, “So, stepping out of your comfort zone and letting somebody else in, that’s a big deal. Doing that doesn’t always end in something you like, so you really went out on a limb-- I’m just glad you liked it, that’s what matters, you know? If you’d finally done something different and ended up really hating it, it’d just reinforce all that time you spent avoiding change, it’d just tell you that you were right to keep doing what you always do. And sometimes that _is_ the right thing to do, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes changes can be really good, really healthy. So," Tanaka seemed to realize he was starting to ramble and he was sort of giving life advice to someone older than him and figured it might be a good time to start wrapping it up.

          "I think learning to find a balance is kind of the ideal. But the point is, you’re off to a great start, man, you did good. I hope to see more rebellion from you in the future.”

          Tanaka had been trying really hard not to be loud, but after he’d stopped talking, his smile was so big and genuine Asahi’s ears started to ring. Asahi stared at him dumbly for a few seconds, then realized that he was expected to respond and stuttered a bit, trying to think of something to say.

          “T-Thank you, Tanaka. Really. I--” he rubbed his lips together and tucked his hair behind his ear again, shuffling from one foot to the other and tightening his grip on the bar.

          “Thanks. I’ll…” Asahi laughed a little, “I’ll try,” he leaned his head on the bar and smiled a very warm, closed-mouthed smile. Tanaka was surprised at how affectionately Asahi was looking at him and felt a lingering constriction in his chest.

          “Good,” Tanaka nodded, smiling back. After several moments of silence he pulled out his phone again to pass the time with his game, mostly to distract himself from Asahi's beautiful smile, which was starting to liquefy him from the inside. His heart was hammering hard in his chest, but he kept his expression neutral. His body was lulled gently this way and that as the train pulled along, bumping and jerking now and then. He screwed up his lips as his little avatar disintegrated on the screen and heard Asahi clear his throat a little. The level started again, so he didn’t look up.

          “So, how are you and Nishinoya?”

          Tanaka immediately lost concentration and ran right into an enemy, causing his little avatar to blink away again. He imagined Nishinoya folded up on their couch with bleach in his hair, laughing with Saeko. His chest ached again, and not for the last time that night.  
  
\- - -  
  
          Tanaka’s image of Nishinoya hadn't been far from the truth. Nishinoya was indeed perched on the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest, one hand resting on the top of his bare feet and the other being preened by Saeko. A long strip of plastic wrap covered the top of his head to the tips of his ears on both sides to keep the bleach that sat on his bangs from getting onto the rest of his hair. Saeko was gently scrubbing a file against the nail of his middle finger in brief, one-way strokes, so the nail wouldn’t fray. She blew on it gently, clearing the debris.

          “Woah!” Nishinoya yelled suddenly, accidentally half-jerking his hand out of Saeko’s. He pointed at the screen with his free hand; Saeko looked up.

          The girl on the screen was very clearly beginning to perform a lap dance, which the plot of the film had foreseen, but Nishinoya was still surprised to be seeing it happen. Saeko whistled low.

          “Damn, she’s hot,” Saeko said, beginning to wipe Nishinoya’s nails off with a warm, damp cloth.

          “Right? The other girls she’s with are hot, too,” Nishinoya said loudly, but interrupted himself when the girl on the screen started to crawl on the floor towards the man she was giving the dance to. “Ooh, damn,” he whispered. They both watched in awe as the dance continued; the subtitles on the bottom of the screen were in English, too, as a song was playing; at some point, the girl lifted her leg to press her foot onto the small sliver of chair that showed between the man’s spread legs and Nishinoya almost jumped out of his skin.

          “Oh my god, step on _me_ ,” he said emphatically to the screen; Saeko cackled and began to shake a bottle of nail polish.

          “That Julia girl’s got some damn nice legs. Why don’t my legs look that good?” she fake-pouted.

          “Ryuu’s a “leg” kinda guy, too,” he laughed, “your boobs are way bigger, though, sis, you’d totally win that fight,” Nishinoya defended, not tearing his eyes away from the screen. Saeko smiled wide.

          "Yuu, you’re so sweet! Are my tits that impressive?”

          He grinned, looking at her finally when the scene changed. “Totally awe-inspiring. Gorgeous. A blessing. I send prayers of thanks for them every day,”

          She laughed loudly and shoved his shoulder; he started laughing, too.

          “Ugh, god,” Nishinoya started to complain, “this thing is drying and my face feels like it’s being mummified,” he gently pressed his fingers to his cheek and opened his mouth several times, stretching his face, “I feel like a lizard. It’s horrible.”

          “Just give it a few minutes,” she said, turning her attention back down to his nails. She pulled out the brush and drew a long stripe over the center of his middle nail, “It’ll be worth it, your skin is gonna glow after this,” 

          “Like "radioactive" glow or like "blossoming bride" glow?” he grinned.

          “Like Kuroki Meisa glow,” she responded. Nishinoya gasped very lightly; the idea of looking like Tanaka’s favourite model was pretty intriguing. 

          “I guess I can wait, then,” he said, turning his eyes back to the film.

          After Saeko finished painting his nails, Nishinoya realized that he wasn’t going to be able to use his hands for anything until they were dry and found this very emotionally upsetting. He didn’t _need_ to use his hands for anything, really, but just the idea of not being able to use them set him on the edge of panic. He wasn’t used to so much of him being out of commission at one time and he worried that, knowing himself as he did, he would inevitably not be able to sit still long enough until everything was ready to be removed and would end up screwing it all up. His hair had chemicals in it, his face was cementing, and now he couldn’t use his hands. He whined pathetically, flailing his hands at Saeko.

          “Do you need something?” she asked, giggling.

          “No, I mean, not really. I just, I feel like I’m gonna screw it all up by trying too hard not to screw it all up.”

          “Here-- I’ll get you a milk box so you can hold it with your open palms, that way you’ll have a reason to keep your hands steady until they dry, and you can just watch the movie so you won't be thinking about how you can't move. By the time your nails dry, everything else will be ready, too. Then you can clean up all at once.”

          “Thanks, sis,” Nishinoya said gratefully, a look of far too much appreciation in his eyes. She waved at him and disappeared into the kitchen to get the milk. He folded his legs out over the edge of the couch and relaxed back into the cushions, turning his eyes back to the television. His thoughts wandered back to the lap dance from the previous scene. As much as he thought about his own preferences, he had also formed a habit of thinking about what Tanaka liked, too, and when Tanaka wasn’t with him to make his own observations, Nishinoya found himself pointing them out to himself anyway, saying _“Ryuu would like this”_ in his mind, or just wishing Tanaka was there to see it because Nishinoya knew he would like it, and seeing Tanaka’s face light up when he saw things he liked made Nishinoya really happy.

          He cast his eyes down to his own legs, bare up to mid-thigh where his black shorts started. Tanaka being a “leg” kind of guy worked intensely to his advantage because that’s where he was the most sensitive and Tanaka had a way of spoiling him as much as possible. He smiled, thinking of Tanaka’s rough fingertips pressing into him and trying to re-imagine the sensation of his little bites and kisses. He thought of the entire spectrum of expressions he’d seen Tanaka make when his face was between his legs-- from surprise, to embarrassment, to a kind of raw hunger, to complete and absolute endearment. He felt his chest well up with some kind of happiness-induced-nausea and felt like he might cry, but Saeko’s arm extending in front of his face suddenly broke him from the moment.

          “Yuu, are you okay?” she asked, gently placing the milk box between his open palms and sitting down next to him on the couch. She’d already put the straw in the box for him, “You were smiling, but it was kind of like a manic smile. Kinda scary,”

          “I’m good!” Nishinoya said, ducking his head to drink from his milk box, “This guy is awful,” he said, using the whole length of both of his arms to gesture to the screen since his hands were occupied, “I’m never gonna be able to drive now because I’ll always think this asshole is coming after me.”

          Saeko laughed, “Long live the trains. Your eyebrows are next after you get done cleaning up, by the way, they’re totally out of control.”

          Nishinoya’s mind flooded with the memory of the last time Saeko had tried to tweeze his eyebrows: pain, his shrieks of terror, Saeko’s loud laughter, more pain, them rolling on the floor, him barely escaping with his life, him looking really damn good when it was all said and done. He focused very intensely on his drink and sucked the straw until the box stuttered empty. Without turning to face her, he whispered weakly, “Do I… Do I have to?”

          “Well, no, but... think of that sweet Kuroki status, little bro. Without misery there can be no beauty. Ryuu’s gonna bust a nut when he sees you, I promise.”

          Despite the knowledge of impending pain and struggle, Nishinoya grinned. Some things in life were worth the sacrifice.  
  
\- - -  
  
          The practice game had been incredible; Karasuno had won but only just, as Nekoma had taken the second set. Nekoma was still bringing it hard and both Tanaka and Asahi found it relieving that things were still carrying on as normal between the rival schools even though they’d flown the nest. They missed it sometimes still, they would admit that, and now and then they still found themselves wishing they could be back together with their team, but in the end they both agreed that life went on, things changed, and more than anything they were happy to see their underclassmen thriving so much now as third-years. They were both intensely proud.  
  
          Having both preceded Hinata as the ace of Karasuno’s team, Asahi and Tanaka had been more than eager to see him perform, and it turned out that Hinata had grown into the position beautifully. They both noticed immediately that he had gotten a rather slimming haircut-- it was much shorter now, but somehow that had only increased the spike factor and his hair stuck out in every direction even more violently than it had before. His jaw had become a little more defined and his shoulders a little wider, but they both lamented for his sake that he'd really not gotten that much taller. That part didn't matter much, though, because he was as agile and intense as ever, his strong sense of determination and perseverance really resonated with the team; they were all obviously inspired by him-- pretty much anyone who ever saw Hinata on the court was-- but the fact that he still made obvious mistakes and was still frequently scolded by Kageyama made him seem very real, and that made a lot of difference. He wasn’t untouchable as the ace; he was nice to everyone (even sometimes Kageyama and Tsukishima), encouraged everyone, and made everyone on his team feel important. At times when he was enormously proud of his achievements, he deserved to be, and he never hesitated to share utmost enthusiasm whenever his teammates performed well, too. He’d really come a long way. 

          Kageyama himself looked much the same, although his hair had actually gotten a little longer. His eyes were a bit sunk in and it looked like he could use some extra sleep, but he looked healthy and had gotten a little taller since Tanaka had last seen him. He had grown reasonably sociable, but, as they had previously noted in his interactions with Hinata, was still needlessly blunt and somewhat tactless. It was easy to tell, though, that even his skills had become more fine-tuned over the years. He was very impressive as a setter and Asahi and Tanaka both agreed that Karasuno would be very sore to lose him when he graduated. 

          Asahi had been a fair bit surprised to find Yamaguchi as the new captain, but nearly complimented him to death afterwards, realizing that his surprise might have come off as an insult. Yamaguchi’s hair had grown considerably longer and he wore the top half of it up, much like Asahi had during his time at Karasuno. His skin had tanned quite a bit and he was now intensely freckled, which was actually quite handsome. Tsukishima being vice captain seemed to fit in with things well enough; he was more than willing to lecture his underlings when they weren’t operating at full capacity and, in turn, was more than happy to take Hinata down a notch when he needed it. His hair had gotten long enough to almost resemble Hinata’s previous style and, unsurprisingly, he had successfully reached a full 190 cm in height. Collectively, Karasuno was an efficient machine that still retained all of the power that Asahi and Tanaka had felt when they were students. Getting to see them in action had been intensely motivating; they both felt like they wanted to run the circumference of the earth when the game was over.

          The now-third-years were very happy to see them and introductions were made with the new second- and first-years. Tanaka and many of the second years had already become acquainted as he’d known them when he himself had been a third-year, but the unfamiliar first-years all looked very promising. Yachi was also very excited to see the two of them, not having known they were coming, and full-on hugged a very embarrassed and alarmed Asahi and a very, _very_ passionate Tanaka. Overall, it was like a family reunion, and even though some of the family had never met one another before, they all shared the same sense of belonging to Karasuno, that it was their home, and that was reason enough to feel bonded.

          Tanaka quickly set to work taking pictures with everyone he could get his hands on, just as Nishinoya had requested. He told the story exactly as his boyfriend had asked him to, including the _in loving memory_ message he had suggested. Everyone laughed, more than happy to join in the photoshoot, and each of the third-years gave Tanaka their own special message for him to deliver to Nishinoya when he returned home for the night. Tanaka decided against mentioning that everyone already had Nishinoya’s number and social media and they could all easily do it themselves; he found he was happy to be the middle man after all. Seeing that everyone really had wished Nishinoya had come-- including himself-- and that they were all too happy to have a reason to share their faces in his honor meant that everyone still cared about Nishinoya and wanted him around, and that was something with which Tanaka could deeply sympathize.  
  
\---  
  
          “Yuu,” Saeko called softly, continuing to comb her fingers through Nishinoya’s hair.

          “Mm?” he asked, blinking slowly. His head was pressed into her side and she had her arm around him.

          “You’re getting sleepy,” she said with a smile in her voice-- it made him smile, too.

          “Can’t help it,” he mumbled, “once the petting starts my body’s just like, _‘well, this is the end for me, this is as far as I go’_ , it’s so damn relaxing.”

          Saeko hummed contentedly.

          “Movie was good, though,” he said, yawning widely and shifting himself down a little farther to rest his head on her thigh, “I’m glad they beat the shit out of that guy. What a creep.”

          “Agreed,” she replied. She pet him a little longer and they listened to the funky song playing as the credits spilled down the screen, “Ryuu should be home in a little while; I have to get up early tomorrow, so I’m gonna hit the sack, I think. You need anything before I turn in?”

          “No, I’m good, thanks,” he said, stretching out big before heaving himself up so she could get up, “Thanks for making me pretty again, I owe you.”

          She stood up and leaned over to rub her thumb against his cheek affectionately and ruffle his hair. She turned away to go into the kitchen.

          “Don’t mention it,” she called back to him, “Getting to see my handsome good work strut around my house all day is reward enough.”

          “Do I strut?” Nishinoya inquired, his voice high and pretending to be innocent.

          “Not _strut_ , I guess, but sometimes,” she shoved a melonpan into her mouth with one hand and held a can of tea in the other, closing the fridge with her foot. She came back into the living and took the bread out of her mouth and chewed, “when you and Ryuu are arguing and you go to leave the room, you do this kind of thing with your hips when you’re walking out like you really want him to Work For It the rest of the day,” she wiggled her hips to illustrate.

          Nishinoya’s whole face stretched out with alarm and he felt a nervous laugh quickly rise up in his chest.

          “I _what_? I don’t do that,” he asked, voice still high with disbelief. Unable to hide the laugh, he snickered into his palm, unable to keep eye contact with her. He totally hadn’t expected to be called out on it, especially by her and not Tanaka.

          “Shut up! You totally do,” she laughed, “I’m not judging, though, man, that shit works.”

          Nishinoya found this even more surprising than being caught, “ _It does_?”

          She laughed even louder this time. “Are you kidding? He spends the entire rest of the day looking like a man who’s been crawling around in the desert for fifty years, _every time_. I think when you get really mad he really feels bad, I mean he really _does_ feel like shit about fucking up, but I think he’s also terrified for his dick ‘cause he’s scared he’s never gonna get a piece of your sweet ass again and it’s all his fault,”

          “Oh my god,” Nishinoya said, his voice muffled by both his hands covering his face. He wanted to yell; his shoulders were shaking from laughter. He’d admit (at least to himself) that he’d been doing the hip thing intentionally, but he really hadn’t known whether or not it had been effective all this time. The fact that Saeko had noticed and was keenly attuned to it made him feel like he was under a microscope, which was not somewhere he necessarily wanted to be.

          “Goodnight, sis,” Nishinoya insisted, standing up himself to retreat to his and Tanaka’s bedroom.

          “Night, little bro!” she cheered pleasantly, waving her melonpan as he walked down the hall, “I know when Ryuu gets home and he sees you he’s gonna wanna _hit that till it breaks_ , but I'm just sayin', I _will not_ hesitate to kick both of your asses if you wake me up, so try to keep it down, alright?”

          “Good _niiiiiiight_!” Nishinoya half-laughed, half-yelled from just inside their bedroom door. He walked over to the mirror that sat above their dresser, looking down at his manicured nails a minute, smiling hard to himself. If he hadn’t realized that he was capable of making Tanaka so desperate sometimes, that meant that Tanaka probably didn’t realize that he was just as capable of making Nishinoya feel the same way. He looked up at his reflection and pushed his fingertips up along his cheekbones before tugging softly at his freshly bleached bangs. He felt powerful, Kuroki-tier, like out of everything Tanaka could ever want or have, he was not just _at_ the summit, he was the summit itself.  
  
\- - -  
  
          Nishinoya jumped slightly when he heard the bedroom door click open; he’d been curled up on his side of the bed reading manga by lamplight for a while and had gotten used to the silence. He wanted to throw his book out the window and leap onto Tanaka immediately, but he was _Kuroki-tier_ right now and he was going to act like it, damn it-- which meant waiting about five seconds to do the aforementioned instead of doing it immediately. He tossed his book onto the floor and turned halfway over to look at his boyfriend, who was pulling off his clothes so rapidly as he crossed the room one might have wondered if they were on fire. Nishinoya laughed lightly; it had only been a few hours, but he felt like Tanaka had been away for hundreds of years, and by the looks of it, Tanaka felt the same way.

          “Ryuu! Welcome home,” Nishinoya chirped happily, extending his arms out for Tanaka to crawl into them.

          “Oh my god, I missed you,” Ryuu said into Nishinoya’s neck. He pressed small kisses everywhere he could reach until Nishinoya got the hint and tipped his head back so Tanaka could do the same to the front and the other side. Nishinoya was laughing because it tickled, but it also felt really nice. He purred softly, scratching his nails gently against Tanaka’s back.

          “I missed you, too,” Nishinoya smiled. Tanaka pulled up from his neck and moved forward like he was about to kiss him, but stopped dead just in front of his face. 

          “Woah,” he said quietly.

          “Woah?” Nishinoya repeated, fear laced in his voice. "Woah" is a very open-ended thing to say when you look somebody in the face.

          “Hold up,” Tanaka said, moving off of him and the bed. He walked across the room to the light switch by the door and turned the overhead light on, then walked back to the center of the room, just under the light, and motioned to Nishinoya with his hand, “Come 'ere.”

          Nishinoya understood and fought intensely not to smile; he climbed off the bed and moved to where he was asked and neutralized his expression as much as possible. Tanaka took Nishinoya’s face into his hands for a moment, then pushed his fingers through his hair, gently combing his bangs back a few times, before setting his hand back down on his cheek. Nishinoya felt like he was being inspected, but being under Tanaka’s microscope was much different than being under Saeko’s. This is where he wanted to be, always, filling up Tanaka’s eyes, drawing him in, making him forget about everything else-- which is what Tanaka always did to him. Tanaka gently stroked his thumbs against Nishinoya’s cheeks and seemed to swallow with some difficulty. Nishinoya gently wrapped his hands around Tanaka’s wrists and closed his eyes for a second, waiting for his sentence.

          Tanaka felt like if his heart beat any harder that it would burst right out of his chest. The ink-black polish on Nishinoya’s nails contrasting with the paleness of his skin, the clean arch in his eyebrows, his face was, Tanaka didn’t even know what word to use-- radiant? can faces be _radiant_? fuck-- even his freshly done hair, as little of a difference as it had been, still ended up feeling like a big difference in the end. Tanaka now fully understood why Nishinoya had chose to stay in and he felt like a jerk for making such a fuss about it before. Nishinoya really put a lot of effort into his appearance and it certainly paid off, he looked-- well, he looked--

          “Yuu,” Tanaka whispered, his voice partially failing.

          “Mm?” he sounded, slowly opening his eyes again. Tanaka’s eyebrows were furrowed and looked kind of upset, which Nishinoya was not at all expecting. Did he not look as good as he thought he did after all?

          “Sorry for giving you hell earlier. You… You look so fucking good, I’m an asshole,”

          “Woah, no you’re not!” Nishinoya said loudly, spreading his hands over Tanaka’s, which were still covering his cheeks. “Hey, I’m stubborn, you’re not gonna make me feel bad about what I do even if you don’t understand it.”

          “But I want to understand it,” Tanaka pressed his lips into a hard line.

          “Ryuu,” Nishinoya laughed lightly, “You can’t understand me all the time, just like I can’t understand you all the time. We’re never going to be able to understand each other all the time, even if we do absolutely everything together for our whole lives until we’re ninety and our hivemind becomes a borderline superpower and we barely have to talk out loud anymore because we already know what the other is going to say,”

          “Even then?” Tanaka asked, starting to smile.

          “Even then,” Nishinoya responded, rubbing his thumbs over the back of Tanaka’s hands. “Thank you for apologizing, but you didn’t hurt my feelings. You don’t misunderstand me on purpose, and I know you don’t think I’m an idiot, not even when I do legitimately idiotic things, which is kind of impressive-- you could really stand to think worse of me sometimes, actually, I’ve done some pretty shitty things--”

          “Noya, I could never think worse of you--” Tanaka started, his tone very serious and absolute. He held Nishinoya’s face in his hands a little tighter.

          “See?” Nishinoya laughed, “You love me like, way too damn much, so it’s okay.”

          Tanaka seemed to deliberate a bit, but then softened. “I really missed you,” he said quietly. He moved one of his hands to push Nishinoya’s bangs out of the way so he could kiss his forehead, then pressed his thumbs along Nishinoya’s eyebrows and smoothed them gently over his eyelids, finally gently tipping up his jaw to kiss him on the mouth.

          Nishinoya wrapped one arm around Tanaka’s shoulders to pull him close by the back of his head. He said, “I missed you, too,” gently into Tanaka’s ear and then dipped his head down to sink his teeth into Tanaka’s neck. He wrapped his other arm around Tanaka’s back and dragged his nails down; Tanaka gasped and hissed appreciatively, wrapping one of his own arms around Nishinoya’s shoulders and the other around his lower back. Nishinoya left full sets of teeth marks all along the side of Tanaka’s neck and shoulder, he sucked and pulled at the taught skin with his teeth, tonguing the marks softly, grinning in satisfaction when he started to feel the skin of Tanaka’s back break under his nails. Tanaka had barely made a sound other than stuttering out small gasps; he was quickly overwhelmed and had started to tremble slightly. Nishinoya pulled back and lingered momentarily by the edge of the bed while Tanaka quickly moved to turn the overhead light off again.

          Nishinoya guided Tanaka by his hips to move them both back onto the bed, folding himself up and pulling Tanaka over him. He spread his hands reverently over Tanaka’s bare chest and scratched gently over Tanaka’s lower stomach, teasingly tugging at the waistband of his boxers. Tanaka kissed him hungrily; full, deep, open-mouthed kisses, _like a man who’s been crawling around in the desert for fifty years_ , Nishinoya’s mind supplied. He smiled against Tanaka’s lips and pulled away for a moment to breathe. Tanaka seemed equally grateful for the break.

          “Since you were gone _forever_ ,” Nishinoya started, his chest heaving slightly. He reached up to drag his nails gently along Tanaka’s jawline then gently constricted his hand around Tanaka’s throat, digging his nails in just a bit, “and you missed me _so much_ ,” he continued, pulling his hand back down Tanaka’s chest and stomach and tracing the full width of Tanaka’s waistband with the nail of his pointer finger, then let his arm fall back down to the bed. After a moment, he pulled his arms up and gently resituated himself so he could press the pillow beneath his head in gently around his face. He rested his head on one side and smiled halfway into the pillow, looking up at Tanaka out of the corner of his eyes, “you wanna make it up to me?”

**Author's Note:**

> Nishinoya is wearing a face mask when his hair is setting and Saeko is doing his nails. I'm not sure if I made that obvious enough now that I think about it. Sorry!
> 
> The film that Saeko and Nishinoya watch is the 2007 Tarantino film entitled _Death Proof_.
> 
> Meisa Kuroki is a Japanese model and actress.
> 
> The title of this piece is also the title of a song by _Wintersleep_.
> 
> I'm considering writing a companion piece or two for this featuring another little surprise from Asahi, and maybe another piece where AsaTanaNoya becomes the Big OT3, so if you guys would be interested in reading something(s) like that, lmk??
> 
> hmu @hqrarepairs on twitter or tumblr if you want, thanks for reading!! :^) have a good day!


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